the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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