okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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