Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
