4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
