Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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