so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
