I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
