great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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