Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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