Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
