I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Damn victory sex feels great
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
