Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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