is wine microwaveable?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Bring me that man meat
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
