sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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