i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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