i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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