I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
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