You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
