He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
