white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize