Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
