Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
