and my herpes radar will keep us safe
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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