Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize