oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
