I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
