I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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