your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
