Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I think my moral compass just broke
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
