I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
