I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
