do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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