Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Randomize
