oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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