Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize