walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Randomize
