Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
