Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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