I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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