Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
false alarm. still invincible.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
