we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
