Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
