totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
