ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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