Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
