Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize