I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
