I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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