seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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