OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
