6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
