I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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