he thought i was a dude.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Is Oprah even human
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
