I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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