Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
