That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
