i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
