we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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