AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Congratulations! We have a period
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
