I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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