I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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