Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
