I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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