If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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