I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
