Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
