Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
