I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
