There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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